It’s Better Together

I have done a lot of traveling in my life so far and most of it I have done solo. For much of my life I have thrived on the singularity of the independent soul, living up to my great American expectations and loving it! I don’t know accurately how long it has been brewing in me, but there has overtime, been a percolation of desire to share experiences, open up and get to know neighbors, develop deep friendships, know my family and its roots. One could say I might be be honoring a more European side of my soul.

My partner and I just got back to Nantucket from an adventure in California, I have been many times, even lived in a few parts of that great, sunny state. In all my adventures there my best times were when I shared them with someone close. Once when my dear friends and I shared a campsite for the summer in Yosemite and now again as I traveled tip to tail of the state with my life partner. I noticed how standing under the canopy of the ancient Redwoods increased its power because I could glance over and share a wordless moment with someone I also experienced a sense of awe and wonder with. That is the key in sharing travel and adventure with someone else, that I know the connection I have with my travel mate. I experience profound, generous love with my partner, he inspires me. Our shared commitment inspires me, our ability to communicate comforts me, our humor together lightens me. I learn a lot about surrendering to love when I stay present to the deeper connection I have with my partner.

Jared contemplating his relative height…

As I continue to practice  and adventure with Loving Kindness I notice that it is easier to soften my heart when life isn’t going my way, the more I soften the greater capacity I have to experience awe and wonder, those are feelings I like! When I am standing under the Redwoods with Jared and my awe/wonder factor goes up by a factor of infinity it isn’t just because I am standing next to a warm body going ” oh WOW, look at these fucking tall trees!”, it’s because I am open to the connection I have with my partner and the same connection I have with the nature around me. I am sure if a stranger was standing next to me we might glance at each other and mummer a passing “wow, pretty impressive” and then move on our separate ways.

So, I am wondering about this connection business. In the practice of Loving Kindness, I am learning a lot about how to stay open even in situations that range from uncomfortable to outright “Fuck this, I’m outta here!”. The practice encourages staying put, noticing where I open and where I close down. It seems to imply that I could have the same kind of powerful connection with a stranger as I do with my lover. I actually do believe that, I am just not there yet…and so I continue to practice, practice, practice.

SIDE BAR: This Blog came into existence as a format for me to explore and express topics that impact and shape my business as a crafter/sales person. As I meander through topics like partnership, love, kindness, etc, I am reminded that these topics are as pertinent to my business practices as they are to my day to day interactions with humanity. For me, I believe it is critical to my mental health and vitality to shape my business with the same values I carve out my life. So when you stumble upon this entry remember that if I seem to be heading off on a tangent unrelated to income, production and earning capacity that there is no deviation from the path, its all related…blessings and love.

Partnership

The seas are rough this morning! I should probably leave the coffee alone, set aside any reading and meditate my way across the ocean and yet I type. Jared and I are watching our little island home shrink in the distance as we head off in the direction of the mainland. There isn’t much going on in Nantucket in the winter, a major selling point for me especially with Wild Bull just beginning. I have ample time to play in my studio, develop a website, research art shows and other marketing opportunities. I am incredibly grateful for that time, without a business partner or staff, crossing all the “t’s” and dotting all the “i’s” is both my creative and practical responsibility. Anyhoo…we are heading to Beantown for some much needed culture: grab some shows, historic walks, good eats in the North End (I know nothing of Boston and am very excited for Jared to share one of his favorite cities with me).

I had a perfect opportunity yesterday to practice infusing my personal values into the values of this budding business. The top billing value in life these days is SUSTAINABILITY. Not just sustainable earth practices but life practices: not overdoing it, less turning my life into a series of lists to simply be checked off, more savoring things and lingering in the details. This past week I took a job offer working for a hip chic on the island doing landscape design and installation (like it or not, Wild Bull is still on its way to sustaining my life financially and the small sales I have on Etsy are not going to pay the bills). I knew I would have to find something and found myself pickling between the ever promising big bucks of waitressing and finding something that matched my soul a little more. My connection with this woman and appreciation of what she does and how she does it made accepting the job a no-brainer. Immediately, I found myself in a state of worry and control (this is my default setting practiced for many many years)! “How would it all work out? I am going to have to make all my stock TODAY! We can’t go on vacation NOW I have a sales season to prepare for before going to work a full time gig!!”

The thing about my default setting is that…well, quiet frankly IT SUCKS! It’s no way to live a sustainable, savory life. I get all worked up into a controlling frenzy, Wild Bull becomes a job not a joy, I have no room for enjoying life with my partner or making calls to hear about friends and family, the future is damned…you get the drama.

I may not have a business partner in the practical sense but I have a lot of loving partnerships that help me sustain this transition into a more gentler way of doing things (including business). It was in leveraging these relationships yesterday that I found access to peace and sanity…I kept my standing phone date with my therapist, my phone date with my friend in Philly, I made plans to go walking with new friends and in the in-between time I did some work and packed leisurely. Default was telling me I needed to cancel everything so I could make stock in order to justify this vacation that falls just before starting the new job and balancing that with a growing business. “I’ll have to be making jewelry at 2am to make it all work!”

In practicing the value of sustainability I find that trust and faith are the magic ingredient. I mean really, when has my life turned to shit because I missed a list item? How do I KNOW my business will fail if I don’t do everything yesterday?! Welcome to some of the drama in my head. I am so grateful to the people in my life that let me unload that drama, who help me recover a sense of humor and gentleness. These relationships are turning out to be the best and most valuable investment in business development I have come across yet…